brit/naming vs. simchat bat vs. brit bat

Yesterday, we went to the bris of the son of good friends. I love a bris. They sprung for the mohel in Chicago who has the reputation for quickness, which is really the way to go. You can always get the hazan to sing beautifully, the parents, grandparents and miscellaneous rabbis to speak profoundly, but speed and accuracy are really the only important qualifications in a mohel. Anything else is superfluous.

The brit millah ceremony actually lends itself to brevity. You can fluff it up a bit, and I always love hearing stories about the baby's name, but it's pretty short. You say a few prayers, you snip, you speak, you nosh.

This doesn't necessarily follow at the birth of a girl. I once was at a simchat bat that lasted over an hour. That's the problem with not having a codified ceremony for a daughter. Which is why I like the idea of a brit bat -- basically a bris without knives.*

I really dislike mere naming ceremonies for daughters. These typically involve the father or parents, depending on denomination, taking an aliyah during Shabbat services, the mother perhaps benching gomel (although even this has been ommitted from a few namings I've attended), and an explanation of the name. Then back to your regularly scheduled services. Somehow it doesn't seem fair that a son gets his own ceremony and the girl gets tucked into the Torah reading.

Much better is the simchat bat, which can be incredibly varied. Some, closer to the naming end of the spectrum, are held during mincha on Shabbat afternoon or a Sunday afternoon, or morning minyan on a Sunday. It's still tucked into an existing prayer service, but because it's not part of the hustle and bustle of Shabbat morning and because most people (at least in Conservative circles) show up primarily for the baby, it is more flexible and more personal.

What I like best is a simchat bat held in the home, like a brit. (Unless, of course, you have 150 guests -- but then you can move it to the synagogue while keeping its personal character.) Typically, these follow the blueprint of a brit and I really don't know why Chicagoans don't just call it a brit bat, like in other communities or the lifecycle books. A few months ago I attended a havdalah simchat bat which was excellent. The mystical beauty of havdalah perfectly echoed the separation and mystery of birth and life.

The one thing a girl certainly has over a boy is that you can plan the ceremony for a weekend, to maximize attendance. Your son is born on a Tuesday, he's stuck with a weekday bris and whatever time the mohel has free on his calendar. I do think the celebration for a girl should be held as close to 8 days after birth as possible, in keeping with egalitarianism. Also, if you're holding out on announcing the name, like with a boy, it's best to limit the suspense.

*The notion of drawing blood, even a drop from a finger, from a baby girl is a little out of adjustment. In about twelve years that little girl will have to deal with a lot more blood every month than is let out at a bris. Not to mention child birth, if she chooses to have children. I think that's quite enough, thank you. It does remind me of some of the more gruesome anthropology texts from college, with the men in a specific tribe periodically ramming sticks up their noses to force themselves to bleed, mimicking the "purification" ritual of menstruation.