Looking in the gift horse's mouth

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later and I am surprised it took this long. Today Yelena received her first Baby Einstein and Baby Mozart DVDs. They were from a family friend -- who does not know about this blog, thank God -- and I accepted them graciously and appreciated the gesture, but I could feel my mom's inner amusement radiating from behind me. Fortunately, they came equipped with a gift receipt, of which I will make quick work.

News flash to parents: Einstein and Mozart were unique geniuses; there is no way plopping your kids in front of the same idiotic show a hundred thousand other kids are watching at the exact same moment will make your kid special in any way. I've bitched about them before and I will bitch about them again, they are complete baby crack. They are the gateway drug to television addiction. They have no through-line, don't encourage imagination and have no educational methodology that I can glean. If I want Yelena to have a trippy experience, I turn on the laser pod and play The Wall for her.

I am going to create a new line of DVDs. Baby Rothko. Baby Bataille. Baby John Cage.