Friday, January 28, 2005

Yitro

This is 3 years old, so I'm not sure how much responsibility I take for it. Maybe I should re-read it myself.

When I write I basically break every rule I was taught in high school. Rather than starting with a hypothesis and trying to prove it, I jot down a few concepts that excite or aggravate me, trust in James Joyce’s theory every author has only one idea, and pray that these six themes in search of a thesis will all excite or aggravate me for the same reason. In writing on Jewish topics I consistently find myself enthusiastic about the Torah and disgruntled with traditional interpretations thereof. The mystic in me can accept that the Oral Torah was given on Sinai along with the Written. But what the authors of the Mishna and Talmud understood implicitly, that the beauty of the Oral Torah is its state of flux and constant evolution, fundamentalism ignores as it does its best to convert the Oral Torah into a second Written Torah, arresting Judaism in the process.

Most traditional commentators insist that Yitro journeyed to the wilderness following the revelation at Mount Sinai and not before, contrary to the order which these events are recorded. Although my inner leftie draws comfort from Ibn Ezra’s suggestion that the Torah diverges from chronology in order to position Yitro’s visit immediately following the battle with Amalek to reassure us of the existence of righteous gentiles friendly to Israel, I prefer sticking with the text. Rashi and crew doubt Moses’ ability to adjudicate prior to receiving the Law (with a capital L), although Yitro’s counsel only concerned practical judicial reform not legal content. The sages next question his stamina, proposing that if Moses were wearing himself out with the people’s problems he would have been simply too exhausted to traipse up and down Mount Sinai. Which is my point exactly, since the people certainly did not start disputing upon Yitro’s arrival or upon receipt of the Torah; they have been kvetching since time immemorial. And how could Moses make the ascent up Mount Sinai to obtain the weighty Torah already burdened by the entire community’s troubles, great and small?

Thus far in the Exodus narrative Moses has functioned as both spiritual and secular leader; as if serving as God’s envoy were not enough, he is the sole ruler and referee of the people. But with such a micromanager in charge, how are the Israelites, worn out from years of slavery and the flight from Egypt, going to be able to withstand the awesome encounter with God, let alone accept and comprehend the yoke of the Torah if they cannot decide even minor legal matters for themselves? Constructing without infrastructure is futile; revealing the Torah before acquiring basic self-governing skills is like studying calculus before mastering arithmetic.

Yet the third reason the sages place this visit after the theophany is because Yitro finds Moses already encamped at the mountain of God and the following chapter mentions the Israelites’ entrance into the wilderness of Sinai. Now we all know the Torah never repeats geographic information or gives conflicting accounts. Sarcasm aside, there is a reason, upon which all exegesis I read remained mum, that I passionately adhere to the textual chronology. If Yitro arrived in the wilderness subsequent to the revelation it follows that Zipporah and her progeny were not present when the Torah was revealed. Yitro journeys to the wilderness not just to hear firsthand what God did for Moses and for Israel, but to return Moses’ nuclear family. Yitro may give obeisance to God and acknowledge God’s supremacy over all others but, unlike his Israelite grandsons, he is Midianite and returns to his own land and people as soon as he deposits his ward, pays homage to God and administers paternal advice. I do not believe that Zipporah is deliberately excluded by scholars from what all Israel saw and heard, the question of her presence is just forgotten while the commentators dance the timeline shuffle.

Am I petulant or uppity for registering surprise when women, or women’s issues, get left on the theological cutting room floor? Why should the neglect of medieval scholars bother me when Zipporah’s husband is guilty of similar erasures and alterations?

When instructing Moses to ready the people for the third day God warns "the people to stay pure today and tomorrow." They are to launder their clothes and cleanse their bodies and minds in order to enter into a sacred state. Yet Moses instructs the people, or rather the men, to "not go near a woman," implying but not spelling out, as our progressive Chumash asserts, that "woman are to comport themselves similarly." God demands that the people distinguish between the sacred realm of revelation and the profane realm of everyday life but, in transposing God’s words and addressing only half of God’s intended audience, Moses includes all the people in the profane but grants only men access to the sacred. Perhaps Moses is operating within historical parameters and I should just take his embellishment of God’s words as par for the patriarchal course, but it is this linguistic license which ultimately costs Moses his entrance into Israel, when he chooses improvising with the rock rather than following God’s script.

When I come across such exclusions I feel much the same way I did as a child and my father came across me reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, said "Roald Dahl was a big anti-Semite," and walked away. Thanks Dad. Yet now I appreciate that he left the choice in my hands, for it trained me in the options I have with such information: I can ignore, and proceed without further thought; I can abandon, and never find out what happened; I can rationalize, and divorce the art from the artist; or I can revision, Rabbi Elyse Goldstein’s term meaning "to reexamine and alter – to see the text anew, to have a new vision, a ‘revision’ of Torah," thus engaging the material in a living dialogue.

God’s very nature dictates formlessness, hence the second commandment prohibiting idolatry. Although God authored creation, associating the metaphysical with natural forms presents the temptation to sever symbols from what they represent. The flag is a symbol for our great democracy but the cynic in me wonders how many patriots waving disrespected weather-beaten flags will turn up at the polls come November. Similarly, while the Second Temple stood the Ten Commandments were recited along with the three paragraphs of the Shema as part of the daily liturgy; the Palestinian Talmud reports that once the Temple was destroyed this recitation was not transferred into synagogue liturgy to prevent misleading the people into thinking that only the Ten Commandments were revealed at Sinai and not all the mitzvot.

One of the English language’s finer qualities is that it is ungendered. It is an involuntary reaction at this point, but I cringe whenever I hear God referred to as "He," much like students in my twelfth grade English class flinched when our iconoclastic teacher referred to God as "She." For me, the masculine pronoun is a symbol, an idol. When God is ascribed gender limits are set, limits which negate the revolution of radical monotheism. In fact, God rotates names and descriptions – the name we do not speak, Adoni, Eloheynu, El Shaddai, Shechinah for the Divine Presence, ruler, parent – this keeps our vocabulary, and thus our thinking, about God fluid. When discussing the unimaginable I do not want to restrict my imaginative vocabulary to only half of creation, only half of those who stood at Sinai and, well, leave myself out. Contrary to the traditional morning prayer I am glad God made me a woman. For, as the Vilna of Gaon said "No one can by themselves observe all the commandments, for some are addressed to priests, others to women, to owners of fields and houses and so forth. Only all of Israel together can do God’s will completely."

Nachum Sarna points out that, until Sinai, Israel has been the passive beneficiary of God’s active role in history. In preparation for the theophany God reminds the people, "You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Me," lest they have forgotten that they were brought out of physical servitude to enter into spiritual service. Now it is time for God to collect on miracles past. But God does not petition the Israelites as the God of Creation but as the God of History, reminding the people of God’s attentiveness and responsiveness, much like my parents appealing to me by reiterating that they unfailingly drove me to music lessons and swim practice, not that one winter’s night they conceived me. Rashi points out that God had a bone to pick with the Egyptians for a long time but only settled scores with them once the Israelites came along; God’s actions were compassionate, not retributive, and performed for a specific beneficiary.

Knowledge of God’s singular love is the basis of the demand to listen and keep the covenant; the Israelites are to obey not because God has said so but because they were collectively born on eagles’ wings. The eagle is the master of space: horizontal, vertical and diagonal. It flies faster and higher than all other birds and soars quickly aloft. Unlike other birds who bear their young between their claws the eagle bears its young upon its wings; the Israelites do not accept the covenant at Sinai because they are in God’s clutches and have no alternative, but because they were chosen to soar atop God’s law.

Flying upon eagles’ wings links together the history of "you have seen" to the future promise of "I brought you to Me." Not to spoil it for those who have only seen the movie, but at the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy Aragorn’s troops are at the gates of Mordor and facing certain defeat until a cry of "The eagles are coming!" is heard and, like the birds’ flight, the reader’s heart soars with the characters’ spirits in ecstatic redemption combined with the sensation of being a minute part of something much larger than the self. Whether looking down in flight upon what Ha-hayyim calls "the clouds of glory" or looking up to the clouds of smoke at Mount Sinai, the Israelites are witnessing their own lack of substantiality in relation to God’s might, God’s kavod, what Milan Kundera calls the unbearable lightness of being.

After the thunder, lightening, horns and smoke subsided God said to Moses, "You yourselves saw that I spoke to you." The paradox of seeing what is spoken drives home the enigmatic nature of this encounter with the divine. The revelation at Sinai is without precedent or explanatory context and is above analysis or analogy. Well, I will attempt a weak analogy because, like the Israelites, I need to mediate experience with language: this paradox is like one of the rare occasions I see a movie or play that is so fantastic I do not want to talk about it afterwards. Rather then engage it intellectually, I want to wallow in its phenomenal afterglow and thus let it seep into my deepest understanding. Yet this overwhelming spectacle and cacophony is framed by linguistic reminders. Is God asking for reassurance, like our need to hear "I love you" spoken by a beloved despite daily evidence? Or, to borrow the title from Salvador Dali’s famous painting of melting clocks, is this about the Persistence of Memory?

Memory is a funny thing. The human brain is not a computer with files stored in organized folders waiting to be called up. Rather, neurobiologists theorize that each time you remember something you are not remembering the actual occurrence but the last time you remembered it, with all the associations you felt and thought at that time. Memories are cumulative and if they are not activated periodically they slip away. Human beings crave narrative, we make sense of experiences both mundane and revelatory through the telling of stories, whether to ourselves or others. We are dealing with the God of History, the God of Stories and, if they are to be effective over time, miracles must be remembered.

So, here I am as I was a year ago, and as I was at Shavuot, listening and telling a story of the unfathomable, trying to see where I fit into the narrative, internalizing the memory of an ancient miracle and transforming it into a personal experience, for all of Israel stood at Sinai and answered as one.

On the verge of entering into a covenant with us God cordoned off Mount Sinai, allowing only Moses to ascend. The people were forbidden to break through to the Lord to gaze. Although the radiance of God surely would have blinded the sight and comprehension of those who trembled even from the relative shelter of the foot of the mountain, I believe God enforced this distinction for another purpose. Like our souls’ namesake, Psyche, who desired to look upon her lover Cupid in the light despite warnings of tragedy, human beings desire to witness what they do not yet understand, a sort of visual hubris. Avivah Zornberg writes that the optical desire to see God is transgressive, it threatens to ruin self and the modes of human consciousness. If we looked upon God, the unseeable, would we understand the nature of the Divine any better than when we tell stories, especially when they are ambiguous? The objective of Revelation was not to gain visible evidence of God’s existence but, through the vehicle of Torah, to develop our humanness, including our curiosity and our need to connect with each other and God, which we do through questioning, disputing and exchanging stories.

This is their biggest problem?

Good thing we're not Orthodox. I am speaking next February 5. If I weren't pregnant, I'd pour a round of Knob Creek for the whole minyan.

If you care so much about African-Americans, why don't you speak to the NAACP?

This rankles me. As does this whole privatization business.

Krugman points out that it's not just retirees that benefit from Social Security but those on disabilities. I want to add that this includes people with mental disabilities. Do people struggling with mental illness have the capacity or the wherewithal to decide in which private funds to invest? With changes to the SS system, the mentally ill will fall between the cracks even more than they already do.

Book #3

I finally finished reading Orhan Pamuk's Snow yesterday. Was the book good? Yes. Was it an important read for Westerners? Yes. Am I glad I read it? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Considering I kept reading my New Yorkers cover to cover and taking naps whenever I got a seat on the el, I think the answer is apparent.

Perhaps my biggest block was the translation. I don't read Turkish, or anything else besides English and 8th grade-level French, but I can still imagine it was better in Turkish. Even not speaking the original language I can typically tell when a translation is good and when it is crappy. Whoever translates David Grossman's novels from Hebrew is fantastic. Ditto this translation of The Brothers Karamazov. Although I love Calvino I can tell most translations of his work that I've read are crap (of course, I was poor during my Calvino phase, scouring used book stores for any dog-eared paperback I could find for under $5). With Snow, I couldn't tell if I didn't like the author's voice or the translator's voice.

The novel traces the return of a Turkish poet in political exile to his native country, as he travels to a far flung province, Kars. In Kars he is snowed in and cut off from the world. There, his writer's block ends, he falls passionately in love and becomes entangled with political struggles between extreme Islamists and various Republican factions. For me, the most touching and important passages involve the protagonist's friendships with two Islamicist teenage boys, one who is killed during a coup in a theatre. The love story felt a little flat to me, mostly because all his desperation and hope was thrown in the direction of a beautiful female object and it was doomed, and not in a romantic way, from the start.

Now I can pick up my reading pace again.


Thursday, January 27, 2005

Damn, damn, damn

David Liss has a new book out and I didn't get it into my Amazon order. Grr. I did just finish a book at lunch (more about that later); if I didn't have to leave right after work to get to dance class I might swing by a book store to grab it. I doubt I will be able to wait for paper. With the Amazon rewards certificates, or a very generous gift certificate from my brother, I don't feel terribly guilty buying hardcover. Typically, on Amazon, they are only a couple bucks more and I get to have them now. Now! Now! I think I have a book habit.

Ultra

Yesterday, Eli and I went in for the first trimester screening and the Ashkenazi panel. The 12 week ultrasound was cool, the giving blood less so, but at least I didn't leave looking like a bruised heroin addict, like so many times before. (Are opera queens heroine addicts?)

The 7 week ultrasound was neat because I actually could see that there was a kidney bean shaped creature with a disproportional white pulsing thing causing my queasiness, and I wasn't just suffering an hysterical pregnancy. At 12 weeks the embryo is now a full fledged fetus, more aesthetically proportioned and floating around. Active little bugger. At one point, it looked like we even got a wave.

The nasal bone is forming properly -- no surprise, really, looking at its parents' shnozes. (I can just picture the genetic map arriving at central headquarters, "Damn, we better get working on this nose-thing fast or there won't be time for it to reach its ultimate size." Poor baby, I just hope it doesn't get my beak and its daddy's width. Yikes. Don't worry, I will love it anyway and spend extra time working on trigonometry for toddlers.) The spinal fluid in the neck is WAY below any risk level -- already overachieving, my kid.

I'm not really worried about the results of the Ashkenazi panel. We figured better safe than sorry, especially since Eli has a much higher likelihood of being a carrier (his sister screened borderline for Tay-Sachs). Mixing up the gene pool is a good thing. Even my dad, who is fully Ashkenazi, has parents who hail from different parts of Europe, so he's mutted up, too. I think instead of encouraging their children to marry Jews, Jewish parents should encourage their children to marry converts since, in the long run, it will be much to our genetic advantage.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Insurance Nightmare

Tuesday I went to my 12-week check-up. The good news is I heard the baby's heartbeat (presto vivace!), I'm not putting on too much weight too fast, my blood pressure is nice and low, and my Slavic body is basically designed for this whole pregnancy thing. The bad news is the m#$&%r f*^%ing new insurance that Eli's company switched to January 1 is not accepted by my doctor. My doctor whom I adore! At her all female practice full of other young, smart female doctors who actually take as much time answering your questions as you need.

So, basically, I am screwed. I could go out of network, pay 70-30. If it were that straightforward, I would. But the $4,800 delivery charge needs to be paid by the 8th month of pregnancy and, since I would be out of network, I would have to pay that all out of pocket! Then, if I don't call the Care Coordination Center for Non-Network (sounds like a Soviet bureaucracy), or the call gets lost, before I check into the hospital they will only cover 50-50.

I had a major pregnancy hormonal moment and cried after talking to the insurance company, located in the enlightened city of El Paso. My Yankee speech patterns threw off the southern boy answering the phone and I had to v e r y s l o w l y repeat my subscriber ID a few times. If my choice on the phone is between some good ol' boy down in Texas and some nice Hindu boy in Bombay, I'll take the latter any day. At least they understand English.

Fortunately, my doctor was able to recommend a couple other female doctors at Northwestern who accept our new shitty insurance and I managed to make an appointment with one of them, as the other couldn't see me for my 16-week appointment until my 18th week. I was worried I would end up giving birth at some Catholic hospital on the far west side with a crucifix hanging over my rickety hospital bed and an evil nun with an epidural needle and a wicked grin by my side.

Thank God I have medical insurance, unlike gazillions of Americans. And it is only going to get worse.


Monday, January 24, 2005

Feline fanatic

When I get to work, the first website I visit after checking my email is cat of the day. Not very sophisticated, I know, and my husband used to make fun of me. That is until he started going there. Now, when we speak at about 9:30 every morning, one of our first question is, "Did you see the cat of the day?" We discuss its cuteness merits, the charm of its history and pastimes, and the grammatical errors in the story. (British writers typically are much funnier and they actually proofread!) My Monday treat is viewing the cats I missed over the weekend. It's a good thing I am married, or I would be the crazy cat lady. Now I am half of a crazy cat couple. At least our house smells like cumin and not cat pee.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Beshalach

I wrote a d'var Torah on Beshalach last year, one on Yitro in 2002 and, in two weeks, I will speak on Mishpatim. A mini-Shmot cycle.

Here is Beshalach. I hope it's the final version, which might actually be on my computer at home. If not, I shall update later.
Whenever my husband and I discuss moving from Chicago to a more hospitable climate and varied topography I feel apprehensive. Not for the practical concern of finding gainful employment out west, nor for the sentimental concern of leaving my friends and community; alas, I am overwhelmed by the thought of loosing my Lyric Opera seats. I doubt there is much sympathy in this room for my plight; I certainly get none from my husband. Despite a checklist of dating prerequisites, I entered a mixed marriage. Once described as a flaming opera queen, I married a musician who, with the exception of West Side Story, does not get a kick out of theatre that is musical. The major reason he cites for shunning this entire genre is one I hear frequently from people outside my tribe: it is difficult to sustain disbelief when someone suddenly breaks into song.

Yet, that is exactly what happens after the Israelites safely cross the yam suf in their final deliverance from Egypt. Now, I am not implying the Song at the Sea was a scene suited to Mel Brooks’ never made History of the World Part II, with Moses and the Israelite boys singing the Shirat ha-Yam, the women taking the second chorus, timbrels in hand, in a Fosse dance number – although this would eliminate the need for the volumes of traditional and feminist discourse regarding Miriam’s song. Rather, witnessing the Lord’s wondrous power, the people spontaneously and collectively voice their new found fear and faith through the language of expression; words alone are not enough and only music can capture the depth of their awe and wonderment.

At emotional moments we are incapable of containing our thoughts in the everyday rhythms of speech; whether rowdily cheering at sporting events, singing at weddings, brooding over the same two songs after a breakup or singing love songs in the shower at the start of a romance, our hearts sing out. In The Queen’s Throat: Opera, Homosexuality and the Mystery of Desire, Wayne Koestenbaum writes, "When we hear an opera, we are listening not only to the libretto and to the music, but to a story about the body, and the story of a journey; the voyage of ‘voice’, traveling out from hiddenness into the world." The Israelites emerge from captivity in an Egypt that had forgotten Joseph and embark on the physical and spiritual journey that frees them to voice their true destiny. Unable literally to put one’s heart into something without dying, they offer the next closest act: song, a renewable offering of breath.

Martin Buber wrote that, "The children of Israel understood [the splitting of the yam suf] as an act of their God, as a ‘miracle’; which does not mean that they interpreted it as a miracle but that they experienced it as such, that as such perceived it." It is not that, after analysis, they determined the event met the criteria constituting a miracle; as it occurred they knew, with every fiber of their being, that they were in the midst of a divine act. As a musician, I am painfully aware that music can be analyzed and interpreted. Practicing technique and studying theory enhance understanding and respect of music, but does not cause wild applause at the end of a stellar performance. Craft alone does not create the sublime moment.

Tapping into something larger, circumventing the solely rational part of the brain, generates art. Many episodes of Star Trek are dedicated to this dichotomy, with the purely logical Spock or Data attempting to make sense of situations complicated by emotion or art only to realize that this is fundamentally what it means to be human. There is the aphorism that you may not know much about art, but you know what you like. Removing the philistine connotations from that statement – since ignorance is rarely a bragging matter – this is a fundamental principle of art, to affect and transform one’s perception and understanding of the world, spiritually or emotionally moving its audience to new heights or depths.

The medieval commentator Sefat Emet writes that until the moment the sea splits the people "have known but not felt themselves held or entranced by the mystery of God’s presence. For the first time they experience emuna, or faith." As newly engaged participants in the religious experience, the Israelites are spurred to sing a spontaneous outpouring of emotion praising God. The Shirat ha-Yam is in the first person, even though all the people sing it together. Although the Israelites left Egypt and traversed the sea en masse, they are all incorporated into their state of wonder individually. For William James, the religious experience centers on "the feelings, acts, and experiences of individual men, so far as they apprehend themselves to stand in relation to whatever they may consider the divine." Precisely at the moment of national birth the Israelites are not an impersonal throng but a nation of precious individuals. Just as they each suffered distinct and particular horrors of slavery in Mitzrayim they each have a personal reaction to the miracles of redemption. While a nation is a collective, it is each individual's experience that endows a nation or community with uniqueness and strength.

Last week David Lerner spoke eloquently about Anim Z’mirot, a medieval sage’s attempt to illustrate God’s greatness by collecting similes about God throughout the Torah and prophetic writings and incorporating them in a poem. Together with this week’s parsha, I was reminded of two different Hindu parables. The first tells of six blind men who attempt to describe an elephant: one, touching its trunk, declares an elephant is like a snake; another touches a tusk and says it is like a spear; and so on. Reconciling their view points, they end up with something that is nothing like an elephant. This parable was intended to illustrate the shortcomings of perception and descriptive language; although the collective metaphors in Anim Z’mirot – or those in Shir’at ha-yam, such as the blast of God’s nostrils – attempt to increase our awe by phrasing God in terms to which we can relate, we are left knowing only that the anthropomorphizing impulse is insufficient and it is impossible to describe the indescribable.

In the other Hindu parable, one is asked to describe fire to someone who has never experienced it. Its colors range over the spectrum but are constantly changing, it can spread rapidly or be easily contained, its heat can both give life and destroy it. The attributes of fire fall short of the real thing, yet as a metaphor it comes closer to painting a likeness of God’s immensity, power and range. Throughout history, illustrated by the story of Prometheus, fire has been a tangible symbol of man’s awe. Moses first encounters God as unconsumed fire and later, at Sinai, is altered by the radiance emanating from God.

In Beshalach, the Israelites are accompanied by a pillar of fire by night, but by the antithesis of fire by day: a pillar of cloud. The sages debate whether these pillars are merely beacons to guide their way, signs from God, a mask for Divine Presence, or the Shechinah itself; regardless, they are present as a symbol that God is with them. Cloud, although not in the wonder twin form of a pillar, also covered the mishkan and a dense cloud accompanied at the revelation at Sinai. Cloud is the meeting of air and water, the intersection of God’s name, which evokes blowing wind, and water, the imagery of which is replete throughout this parsha. Water, like fire, bestows both life and death and in the splitting of the yam suf it does both in rapid succession. Whoever controls water controls the desert and in this parsha God clearly does. Whether driving back the sea and returning it to its normal state, sweetening bitter waters or providing water where there is none, God proves mastery of this most vital element and, fittingly, manifests as a column of visible, mobile cloud.

Prior to the splitting of the sea, "The angel of God, who had been going ahead of the Israelite army, now moved and followed behind them; and the pillar of cloud shifted from in front of them and took up a place behind them." Nahum Sarna suggests that the luminous pillar of cloud set up a protective screen between the two camps, a beneficent fog of war reassuring the Israelites. In this interpretation, cloud functions as it often does in literature, as a substance obscuring sight, blanketing the Israelites from full knowledge of the proximity of their enemy.

The Torah explains that, "The cloud with the darkness cast a spell upon the night," implying something more poetic and magical in the movement of this cloud. As anyone who’s ever spent time in San Francisco knows, clouds descended to the earth have a very tactile presence. The Israelites had seen signs and wonders in Egypt, but no one more than our ancestors in the wilderness disproves the adage that seeing is believing. Before the pillar shifted they had not personally encountered any aspect of God’s self. Prior to plunging into the sea, the pillar of cloud travels from the front of the troops to the rear, thus passing through the camp in a descending mist. All the Israelites have a palpable encounter with heavenly forces. The repositioning of the guiding angel and the pillar of cloud was an essential prelude for the Israelites’ acceptance of the miracle. The cries and snide remarks heard just a few verses prior are silenced, and the Israelites are spiritually fortified to walk the stretch of dry land between two walls of water, before the bridge between their enslavement and their future promise is washed out by the sea.

The universal language of music is often described as a bridge: between both cultures and individuals, like in high school when all you needed to initiate a friendship was a favorite band in common. If God and man are in search of each other, we fittingly have replaced sacrifice with songful prayer in our attempt to close the gap between us and God. Koestenbaum also writes, "Opera places words and music together and apart, always both at once. Opera’s task is to recombine words and music, the severed halves of a body are single and whole." God had saved people before – Noah from the flood, Isaac from the knife, Jacob from numerous tight spots – but they never offered thanks by singing God’s praises. A Midrash relates, "As soon as Israel was saved they uttered their song. And God responded, ‘I have been waiting for them.’"

This week I looked over the d’var Torah list and was amused to discover that, within the past year, I had given d’vrei Torah on Lech lecha and Shlach lecha, in addition to Beshalach, today. I would dismiss this as mere coincidence, but I am the d’var Torah coordinator and I get my pick, even if my reasoning is subconscious. If I were to emulate the Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski and select a trilogy of three crucial episodes that formed the psyche of the people Israel, I would choose these moments of going: Abraham going forth from his birthplace; Pharaoh letting the people go; and the scouts going into the land, their false intelligence resulting in the forty year postponement of entering the land promised in the two previous episodes. Perhaps my choice of parshiot expresses a desire for movement, but not necessarily to a warmer and more scenic land. These stories are re-read during Passover. Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook explains that "the true duty of a Jew on Pesach is to ‘expand and deepen’ the tale." Even if we, like the Israelites, take a roundabout or zigzag route getting there, it is our duty to unite the words and the music, combine the knowledge with the expression, and connect us with God.

Yes!

The new Murakami book is out! Good thing we've been hoarding the Amazon gift certificates, since I ain't waiting for paper.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

C is for...

The Girl Scout cookie order form just made its annual voyage through my office. I could eat an entire box of Samoas right now. Chocolatey-carmely-coconut crunchy goodness. I enforced some will power and only ordered 3 boxes. It's for the Girl Scouts of America, right? It's for a good cause! (Not sure where they stand on the Boy Scouts' decision not to allow openly gay scout leaders, but I don't want to know!) COOKIE!

Tournament of Books

This is more my speed than filling out the NCAA forms that circulate my office every February. (Or is it March?) I've read three of the four #1 seeds (all but the Tom Wolfe, which I will probably leave unread at my death). The judging process is a bit wacked and arbitrary, but this is for fun and probably not any more wonky than the judging of the Booker or Pulitzer.

Unless the judges need to impress with their marginality, I predict a playoff between Cloud Atlas and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, both of which I loved. Plot Against America is an excellent book, but more in idea than execution. It is far from Roth's best (I wouldn't even put it in his top 5) and cops out at the end, as if he wanted it to see publication in advance of the election. For all the good it did.

brit/naming vs. simchat bat vs. brit bat


Yesterday, we went to the bris of the son of good friends. I love a bris. They sprung for the mohel in Chicago who has the reputation for quickness, which is really the way to go. You can always get the hazan to sing beautifully, the parents, grandparents and miscellaneous rabbis to speak profoundly, but speed and accuracy are really the only important qualifications in a mohel. Anything else is superfluous.

The brit millah ceremony actually lends itself to brevity. You can fluff it up a bit, and I always love hearing stories about the baby's name, but it's pretty short. You say a few prayers, you snip, you speak, you nosh.

This doesn't necessarily follow at the birth of a girl. I once was at a simchat bat that lasted over an hour. That's the problem with not having a codified ceremony for a daughter. Which is why I like the idea of a brit bat -- basically a bris without knives.*

I really dislike mere naming ceremonies for daughters. These typically involve the father or parents, depending on denomination, taking an aliyah during Shabbat services, the mother perhaps benching gomel (although even this has been ommitted from a few namings I've attended), and an explanation of the name. Then back to your regularly scheduled services. Somehow it doesn't seem fair that a son gets his own ceremony and the girl gets tucked into the Torah reading.

Much better is the simchat bat, which can be incredibly varied. Some, closer to the naming end of the spectrum, are held during mincha on Shabbat afternoon or a Sunday afternoon, or morning minyan on a Sunday. It's still tucked into an existing prayer service, but because it's not part of the hustle and bustle of Shabbat morning and because most people (at least in Conservative circles) show up primarily for the baby, it is more flexible and more personal.

What I like best is a simchat bat held in the home, like a brit. (Unless, of course, you have 150 guests -- but then you can move it to the synagogue while keeping its personal character.) Typically, these follow the blueprint of a brit and I really don't know why Chicagoans don't just call it a brit bat, like in other communities or the lifecycle books. A few months ago I attended a havdalah simchat bat which was excellent. The mystical beauty of havdalah perfectly echoed the separation and mystery of birth and life.

The one thing a girl certainly has over a boy is that you can plan the ceremony for a weekend, to maximize attendance. Your son is born on a Tuesday, he's stuck with a weekday bris and whatever time the mohel has free on his calendar. I do think the celebration for a girl should be held as close to 8 days after birth as possible, in keeping with egalitarianism. Also, if you're holding out on announcing the name, like with a boy, it's best to limit the suspense.

*The notion of drawing blood, even a drop from a finger, from a baby girl is a little out of adjustment. In about twelve years that little girl will have to deal with a lot more blood every month than is let out at a bris. Not to mention child birth, if she chooses to have children. I think that's quite enough, thank you. It does remind me of some of the more gruesome anthropology texts from college, with the men in a specific tribe periodically ramming sticks up their noses to force themselves to bleed, mimicking the "purification" ritual of menstruation.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Frigid

This morning I looked up the weather on yahoo. It was currently 10 degrees, with a high of 24 and a low of 21. Apparently someone is unclear on basic mathematical principles.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Shteyngart/Eugenides

Last night we went to hear Gary Shteyngart and Jeffrey Eugenides at the Abbey Pub. It was part of Nextbook, so the Russian-Jewish-American Shteyngart was ostensibly the main attraction. Although Shteyngart 's hands were quivering nervously during the reading, he was animated and amusing during his conversation with Eugenides. So many authors are either completely uncharismatic (I painfully suffered through an hour with William Gibson and a dreadful interview thinking, "So, this is why the guy writes books.") or complete wankers. It was refreshing to be entertained by two people whose work I admire and with whom I would love to grab a drink.

And, I could! Well, not exactly. But Eugenides recently moved to Chicago so it's more likely than getting sloshed with, say, Philip Roth. I imagine Eugenides as a more pleasant drinking buddy.

Literary blue balls in book #2

2. Number9Dream by David Mitchell

Cloud Atlas was easily one of the best books I read last year, so I immediately ordered Mitchell's other two novels. Number9Dream was an absorbing read, although the ending left me unsatisfied. The novel's John Lennon obsessed protagonist moves to Tokyo from the provinces to discover the identity of his father. Along the way, he gets mixed up with the yakuza, falls in love with a diabetic pianist with a perfect neck and searches for meaning to his life.

At points, Number9Dream reads like an homage to Murakami -- there is even an allusion to Wind-Up Bird Chronicles -- and I think its abrupt, Murakamian (Murakamiesque?) end-of-the-world/end-of-the-dream conclusion doesn't serve its previous 400 pages well. Why, oh why, do authors spend years crafting wonderful novels and don't wait another week to think of a better-suited ending? (I had the same problem with Patricia Dunker's highly recommended novel, The Deadly Space Between.) I don't mean a Shakespearean ending, where all the couples are married off or everyone's corpse fills the stage and there is a moralizing soliloquy by the sole righteous survivor, I just want an ending which follows the spirit of the book. Maybe I am revealing myself as a classicist, but I prefer resolution over cop-out.

If the book is mediocre, this doesn't bother me as much. (I can only demand so much from mediocre writers.) But when the author gets me all worked up and hot and bothered only to leave me hanging, well, I've been blue balled.

Book 1

1. I decided to start off the year with something a little trashy. Well, not trashy, but a bit prurient and not too high brow. What with the death of my brother-in-law, tsunami devastation, a Chicago January and general pregnancy queasiness, I wanted something to suck me in. Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters certainly accomplished that.

I read Waters' Fingersmith a while back and thought the author really captured the feeling of the Victorian era -- thieves' dens, mental hospitals and isolated decaying manors rather than witty drawing rooms. Like Fingersmith, Tipping the Velvet evocatively captures segments of Victorian society, including music halls, a sisterhood of decadent and self-important saphic ladies, and movements for socialism and suffrage. I didn't really mind its predictability -- like watching a BBC mystery it was quite comforting pretty much knowing how it would all end -- and it was, overall, a very moving coming of age and love story.

50 Books

I made my goal of 50 books in 2004, with only a little cheating. I included 2 pregnancy books that I have basically read from cover to cover, just not in page order. Oh well.

So far I am off to a good start in 2005, without the Baroque Cycle holding me back.