Stand and Deliver
No major milestones or anecdotes recently. Just much cuteness. Yelena did take a number of steps alternating feet while holding my hands today -- only she took them backwards. Moony.
Although other people seem to think it’s a terrible deficiency, either explicitly stating it or by their squinty eyes and raised brows, Eli and I aren’t too concerned about Yelena’s lack of mobility, except when we second guess ourselves. Everyone has an opinion on this and, boy, they do share it. Fortunately most of my friends, being intelligent people, are of the mindset of when-she’s-ready-to-walk-she’ll-walk and think it’s not a big deal. Everyone else either falls into the squinty eyed “your baby must be totally retarded” camp or the sign of genius camp.
From the former, in addition to implying that my daughter is developmentally deficient, in contrast to their own ‘normal’ crawling child, there is often the implication that my parenting is deficient. Either that I don’t spend enough time working with her on skills or that I spend too much time coddling her, thus preventing her from developing them. If I had a buck for every person who suggests, “Have you tried putting her toys out of reach?” I could afford a chauffeur so she’d never have to move at all. (The answer: she finds something else to do. Like play with the mat or the carpet or her hands or her hair or vocalize or watch the always exciting cat channel. There must really be something wrong with a baby who can entertain herself without crawling up the ceiling.) I actually had a stranger infer that my extended breastfeeding was linked to her not moving. (“She’s not crawling or walking? Are you still breastfeeding? Ahhhh.”)
From the latter, I have heard dozens of stories about how their brother/uncle/friend’s daughter didn’t walk until 16/20/24 months and now they’re a neurosurgeon/concert pianist/head of an Ivy League history department. Of course, I like these better, but am not going to take this anecdotal evidence as a sign of brilliance. Dr. Sears explicitly states that first steps are absolutely no indicator of intelligence later in life. If it were, there’d be a lot more smart people out there, wouldn’t there? Dr. Sears also mentions that babies with easier temperaments tend to be late walkers, and Yelena certainly has an easy temperament.
With all this in mind, Yelena had a physical therapy evaluation yesterday. The pediatrician had mentioned physical therapy as an option (her words were, “I love physical therapists! Even if you don’t need them you go away with all these fun things to do.”) and, since it’s not invasive and we’ve got flex spending we decided to take her in for an evaluation.
In the therapists’ collective opinion, Yelena is a beautiful sitter and a strong stander, she just doesn’t move. No duh. (We’re working on some exercises and going in once a week for four weeks to see what happens.) They stressed that she is developmentally delayed by her immobility, which I didn’t question at the time but should have, since most kids walk between 9 to 16 months. When I asked if there was something “wrong” (and I made the little quotey signs) with her they said I’d have to check with a neurologist to rule anything out. I know they have to say shit like that to cover their backs, but it really bothered me. Part of me got really defensive: nothing is wrong with my child; many of my friends’ children were late walkers and are all bright and well-adjusted – and no one was telling them their children were developmentally delayed. Another part of me got really freaked out: am I so arrogant that I think that there could be nothing wrong with my child?
Unless other triggers arise, I don’t think there is anything wrong. A friend, who was running the office of the premier child developmental specialist in Chicago and seen hundreds of children, reassured me today. She also pointed out that some children are so smart that hitting these milestones are beneath them. Again, I don’t want to use this as a sign of giftedness but, considering Yelena is an incredibly engaged and responsive child, it is a more likely explanation for her atypical behavior than that there is something neurologically wrong. From first-hand experience, I know that gifted children develop at a different pace and don’t necessarily excel in standard settings. I am going to continue to do what I do with my baby, give her love, give her stimulus and respond to her cues. And everyone can just kiss Yelena’s cute baby tushie.
Although other people seem to think it’s a terrible deficiency, either explicitly stating it or by their squinty eyes and raised brows, Eli and I aren’t too concerned about Yelena’s lack of mobility, except when we second guess ourselves. Everyone has an opinion on this and, boy, they do share it. Fortunately most of my friends, being intelligent people, are of the mindset of when-she’s-ready-to-walk-she’ll-walk and think it’s not a big deal. Everyone else either falls into the squinty eyed “your baby must be totally retarded” camp or the sign of genius camp.
From the former, in addition to implying that my daughter is developmentally deficient, in contrast to their own ‘normal’ crawling child, there is often the implication that my parenting is deficient. Either that I don’t spend enough time working with her on skills or that I spend too much time coddling her, thus preventing her from developing them. If I had a buck for every person who suggests, “Have you tried putting her toys out of reach?” I could afford a chauffeur so she’d never have to move at all. (The answer: she finds something else to do. Like play with the mat or the carpet or her hands or her hair or vocalize or watch the always exciting cat channel. There must really be something wrong with a baby who can entertain herself without crawling up the ceiling.) I actually had a stranger infer that my extended breastfeeding was linked to her not moving. (“She’s not crawling or walking? Are you still breastfeeding? Ahhhh.”)
From the latter, I have heard dozens of stories about how their brother/uncle/friend’s daughter didn’t walk until 16/20/24 months and now they’re a neurosurgeon/concert pianist/head of an Ivy League history department. Of course, I like these better, but am not going to take this anecdotal evidence as a sign of brilliance. Dr. Sears explicitly states that first steps are absolutely no indicator of intelligence later in life. If it were, there’d be a lot more smart people out there, wouldn’t there? Dr. Sears also mentions that babies with easier temperaments tend to be late walkers, and Yelena certainly has an easy temperament.
With all this in mind, Yelena had a physical therapy evaluation yesterday. The pediatrician had mentioned physical therapy as an option (her words were, “I love physical therapists! Even if you don’t need them you go away with all these fun things to do.”) and, since it’s not invasive and we’ve got flex spending we decided to take her in for an evaluation.
In the therapists’ collective opinion, Yelena is a beautiful sitter and a strong stander, she just doesn’t move. No duh. (We’re working on some exercises and going in once a week for four weeks to see what happens.) They stressed that she is developmentally delayed by her immobility, which I didn’t question at the time but should have, since most kids walk between 9 to 16 months. When I asked if there was something “wrong” (and I made the little quotey signs) with her they said I’d have to check with a neurologist to rule anything out. I know they have to say shit like that to cover their backs, but it really bothered me. Part of me got really defensive: nothing is wrong with my child; many of my friends’ children were late walkers and are all bright and well-adjusted – and no one was telling them their children were developmentally delayed. Another part of me got really freaked out: am I so arrogant that I think that there could be nothing wrong with my child?
Unless other triggers arise, I don’t think there is anything wrong. A friend, who was running the office of the premier child developmental specialist in Chicago and seen hundreds of children, reassured me today. She also pointed out that some children are so smart that hitting these milestones are beneath them. Again, I don’t want to use this as a sign of giftedness but, considering Yelena is an incredibly engaged and responsive child, it is a more likely explanation for her atypical behavior than that there is something neurologically wrong. From first-hand experience, I know that gifted children develop at a different pace and don’t necessarily excel in standard settings. I am going to continue to do what I do with my baby, give her love, give her stimulus and respond to her cues. And everyone can just kiss Yelena’s cute baby tushie.
posted by Mi at 11:48 PM
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